The dumbest Friday Questions I've received

Sometimes I get bizarre questions so I thought today I’d try to answer some of them.  Names have been withheld to protect the embarrassed. These were actual questions submitted.  NOTE:  I post these in the spirit of fun, not to be mean-spirited (which is why I'm not identifying anyone).  I love your questions and answer them every week.  But I do get some goofy ones and people are always

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS: my review

No SPOILER ALERT necessary. A lot of space stuff happens and you go home. There are thrilling chases, battle scenes, destruction, beaming, dogfights, malfunctions, and grabbing railings at the last second but I won’t divulge in which occur.

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS is a fun ride with great special effects. I just wish they had had half the budget. Maybe then they would have spent more

My thoughts on the first ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT episode

Since a lot of you wondered.

I was never a super big ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT fan. Found it very funny in spots and trying too hard in others. I re-watched a few episodes of the original series to get myself re-acquainted and found them even better than I had remembered. I’ll be honest – I’m not a Will Arnett fan. Never been. Find him sketchy and not funny in anything he’s in. So that’s a

Waiter-speak

Is there a language course waiters are required to take these days? Must they pass Waiter-speak before being hired? Who started this current trend where waiters are no longer allowed to converse like normal people? If it were one or two I’d say it was an affectation but they all talk like this now – as if there were a handbook. Maybe this is just an L.A. phenomenon, you tell me. And if

Behind the Candleabra -- my review

BEHIND THE CANDELABRA, now playing on HBO, is LA CAGE AUX FOLLES meets BOOGIE NIGHTS. It’s at times hilarious, creepy, fascinating, and horrifying. But let’s be real. You’re not tuning in because you have so many unanswered questions about Liberace. Many of you don’t even know who Liberace is (or was more accurately). You’re curious as to whether Michael Douglas can pull off playing a

Nice article about me...

... in the Kirkus Review of books.  Print edition even.  Thanks to Matt Domino for making me come off sounding somewhat literary.   You can find it here.  

Look, I'm just happy they used a decent picture and gave a link to where you can buy my book. 

Thanks again.   It seems weird to say Happy Memorial Day so have an enjoyable Memorial Day while remembering the purpose of the holiday. 

Memorial Day -- and then staff work begins

Happy
Memorial Day. This is the time of the year when writing staffs go
back to work. If you’re an aspiring TV scribe, I hope someday that’ll
be you. Here’s what you can sort of expect…at least on the comedy side.

The
first week will just be sharing vacation stories, home remodeling
nightmares, and trashing reality shows. You’ll go out for long
lunches, bitch about how much other

#ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT is back

Okay, so I was one of those people who stayed up until midnight last night to see the premier of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT on Netflix. How often does a season debut of a situation comedy qualify as an “event”? Quick! Name the new Ann Heche show that premiered last week! But the articles and interest on social networks for #ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT (everything has a hash tag these days) have been so

My brief stint on KRTH 101

By short I mean two shifts. I was the emergency fill-in guy for one weekend in the spring of 2007. These were my first disc jockey shows in like fifteen years, and I haven't done one since. So I must have really impressed them. But I've had a lot of requests for this from radio freaks so on this holiday weekend I thought I'd post it.  I'm a little hesitant though.  You commenters have been

Friday Questions

Ah, the unofficial start of summer and higher gas and airline prices! Let’s get your holiday weekend started with some Friday Questions.

Mark is up first.

I read that they did write a script for Cleese to return to Cheers, but he turned it down. So the character was rewritten and recast with John McMartin for the episode "The Visiting Lecher" (McMartin's character is an old colleague of

How I'd fix MAD MEN

MAD MEN is a wonderful show. It has richly deserved all the many honors it has received. Part of its appeal is that the viewer has to work a little to fully appreciate what's going on. He has to decipher subtle clues and make connections between events and moments – some that are separated by three or more seasons. The viewer is usually rewarded for such diligence with a deeper

Location, location, location

My cable company offers a couple of nostalgia channels featuring old time series. I like to call it the “Doesn’t Hold Up Network” because a lot of these shows that I remember loving back in the day are now just awful. Who knew the years wouldn’t be kind to GIDGET?

The reason I find myself stopping at one of these channels (besides hoping to see Claudine Longet guest star as a murderer) is

The great Mel Brooks

Great PBS special last night on Mel Brooks – truly one of the funniest people in the galaxy. I recently got the box set DVD's of his work and it's been a true joy revisiting the laughs.

Happy to say I've met him several times. The first was when I was working at the KIIS Broadcasting Workshop. He was at the radio station promoting his new movie, YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN. Even then he was an

If I retooled AMERICAN IDOL

AMERICAN IDOL has announced it will undergo a major facelift in order refresh a clearly dying franchise. Not only do I not know who was crowned last week’s AMERICAN IDOL, I didn’t even know the finals were on. And I used to review the show every week the first five or six years. The judges are being replaced (even Randy, which is like closing the barn door ten years after the animals had

My toughest interview

In the minor leagues I had to do a pre-game interview every day.  Most of the players were happy to talk to me, but not all.  This is me interviewing Syracuse Chief, Lou Thornton in 1988.   By the way -- still easier than interviewing Barry Bonds. 

My commencement speech to the Class of '13

June is the graduation time of year. I guess a hundred years ago those commencement speakers were inspiring and offered thoughts and insights that were new and fresh. But now, Jesus! Be your own person. Never give up. You have a responsibility to society. Success comes from within. Show courage. You can make a difference. Set aside time to smell the roses. Let faith be your guide.

My final word (I hope) on Zach Braff and Kickstarter

I thought I was going to drop this subject but there have been more developments and I’ve been barraged by requests to comment. And since I can’t produce a slick video and get fifty major websites to embed it like some people can, I’ll have to take one more day on the blog to respond. Tomorrow I’m back to the usual nonsense I promise.

After getting the money he begged for on Kickstarter

A FRASIER creator helps me with Friday Questions

We have a guest expert answering the first of your Friday Questions – Peter Casey, one of the creators of FRASIER. The other questions unfortunately, you just get me.

Andy Ihnatko wants to know:

How did "Frasier" put together those brilliant silent scenes that played out under the end music? Were they fully written or did everyone just work out a funny piece of business during rehearsals?

Another "How I got fired" story

Here’s another tale from my radio disc jockey days. It was a great field to be in if you didn’t mind zero security and bosses who were mad as hatters.

In 1974 I was on KYA, San Francisco, doing the 10 pm – 2 am shift and happy as a clam. The program director liked me, the general manager liked me. I was the flavor-of-the-month. In radio that meant start sending out tapes.

The station

A CHEERS story I had never heard before

Last Saturday night at UC Santa Barbara there was a discussion of CHEERS by series creators Glen & Les Charles and James Burrows moderated by CHEERS writer/producer Cheri Steinkellner. It was a fun, lively, informative evening filled with clips, tips, and anecdotes.

Later in the program George Wendt joined them on stage and told a story that even I had never heard.

It was Kirstie Alley’s

What it's like to go Viral

I woke up one week ago today and discovered I had 129,000 hits in one hour. What the fuck? I had gone viral.

This was a new experience for me. Over the last 7 1/2 years I had had big spikes in traffic, usually when I had guest bloggers like Aaron Sorkin or my daughter, Annie, but never had I received one million page views – not even for my Traci Lords rant.

Now that the craziness has

What's the latest on all those TV pilots?

Things are starting to fall into place for the networks' fall schedules. Many of the pilots that they were so high on two weeks ago are dead. Sure things like BEVERLY HILLS COP didn’t make it on the CBS schedule. Other front runners are wondering what happened.

The networks went back to New York last week to cobble together their schedules. As a prominent agent once said, “Everything

Vacation tips: Where to find writers

I
read articles all the time about where tourists visiting Los Angeles
can see stars. There are also maps to the stars homes (although Jack
Benny and Lucille Ball have moved to more permanent residences. ). But
what about all those millions of visitors who come to Tinsel Town just
to catch a glimpse at writers? There’s yet to be an article about
that….

Until now.

So for those of you

Happy Mothers Day

This
is my favorite mother joke. Actually it's a mother-in-law joke and it
comes from the very politically incorrect but screamingly funny AMOS
& ANDY SHOW. I believe this was written by Mosher & Connelly
(who went on to create LEAVE IT TO BEAVER and THE MUNSTERS).

The Kingfish sets up a blind date for "Mama". Hoping the poor guy would
like her and take her off of his hands he arranges

Recommendations

As longtime readers of this blog can imagine, I am sooooo broken up over the cancellation of WHITNEY that it's hard to write a new post today.  What is NBC thinking?  (Note for new readers:  I'm joking. I can't believe WHITNEY lasted two years.   A full updates on pilots arrives Monday.) 

So instead I will offer  some recommendations. I have not been paid or compensated in any way for these.  I

What does THE BATES MOTEL have in common with MUPPET BABIES?

Tomorrow night I plan to be in Santa Barbara where CHEERS creators Glen & Les Charles and James Burrows will speak at UCSB. Should be fun.  I've always wanted to meet them.  Meanwhile, keep those Friday Questions coming. Here are this week’s:

Ron P. starts us off:

There's obviously been a lot of spinoffs... some successful... others not so much. But has there even been a prequel ?

Okay,

Taking a dip in the SHARK TANK

As opposed to the one I've been swimming in the last two days.

The only reality show I’m hooked on is SHARK TANK, Friday nights on ABC. No one sings, no one has to ride a bike through Siberia, Salsa dance, prepare a 5-star meal on a George Foreman grill, share a house with Melissa Rivers, not shower for a month, or whore themselves for a date. No one’s self worth is determined by Sharon,

My response to your Zach Braff comments

First off, wow! I’ve never gone really viral before. Yesterday I got 622,000 hits. I’m going to be real pissed if today it goes back down to 12.

Thanks to all of you who commented, even those who disagreed with me. Your arguments were thoughtful, well stated, and you made some great points. See Roseanne? People can take issue with me without calling me an asshat.

And you all are

I won't give Zach Braff one dime

Zach Braff is trying to raise money on Kickstarter to fund a movie he wants to make. Zach Braff is a good actor and a fine filmmaker. GARDEN STATE was a terrific movie. But I wouldn’t give him a dime.

Why?

Because it defeats the whole purpose of Kickstarter.

The idea – and it’s a great one – is that Kickstarter allows filmmakers who otherwise would have NO access to Hollywood and NO

The Days of Wine and Onions

I’ve done many travelogues from major cities like New York, Paris, and London.  (You're welcome to buy the book.)  But today comes one from a small town, Walla Walla (along with a lot of photos). I was there to speak at the kick-off banquet for their summer college league team, the Sweets, and visit my good friend Mr. Great Big Radio who moved there when he entered the Witness Protection

The CHEERS episode we wrote that is now very timely

With the recent announcement by NBA player, Jason Collins that he's gay, I've been asked to talk about the "Boys in the Bar" episode of CHEERS that my partner David Isaacs and I wrote.  The story has suddenly become very timely.  So here again is my behind-the-scenes account of that episode:
Sometimes you just never know.David and I wrote an episode of CHEERS the first season called “Boys in the

My greatest home run call

Hello from Walla Walla, Washington where I spoke this week at the Walla Walla Sweets kickoff dinner.  People always ask "what's your greatest home run call?"  It came my first year in the minors with the Syracuse Chiefs, and it became sort of a legend.   The Syracuse Post-Standard even did a story about it as recently as last month.   So I told that story and will repeat it here.   Even if

Friday Questions

Friday Questions this week come to you from Walla Walla, Washington. Your first question is “what am I doing in Walla Walla, Washington?” I spoke last night at the kick off banquet for their summer college league team, the Sweets. Thanks to all for a great and fun evening. Okay, here are your Q’s and my A’s:

Starting us off is Andrew Wickliffe:

I'm watching season 11 of MASH right now

These are the two guys we wanted to be

When my partner, David Isaacs and I were starting out, writing spec scripts and trying to break in, THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW was on every afternoon. We’d watch it religiously, both for inspiration and laughs. Unlike most shows today, the writing credits of THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW were at the end.

We considered ourselves such students of the show that we tried to guess who wrote

Summer Movies Preview 3

Part 2 was yesterday.  Part 1 on Monday.  Today I wrap up my annual look of what will be going on in the background while people text:  


THE BLING RING -- Emma Watson in a true story about teenagers who rip off stars like Lindsey Lohan. Wouldn’t it be great if Emily was caught and then had to share the same cell as Lindsey? Now that movie I’d see.

THE INTERNSHIP – Vince Vaughn re-teams