Should Puig be an All-Star?

Major League Baseball just doesn’t get it. They never have. This is why Les Moonves needs to be the commissioner.   MLB spends so much time arguing minutia that they miss the big picture. The latest raging controversy-over-nothing is this: Should Yasiel Puig play in the All-Star Game later this month?

Yes, I know. Most of you are saying who’s Yasiel Puig? And how do you even pronounce

My first "dirty" movie

Here's another excerpt from my book, THE ME GENERATION... BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE '60s).  You can order it (or write a glowing review, which would really be appreciated) here. 

I had just turned 16.
One
day I read in the paper that a new French movie was opening called THE
GAME IS OVER. The review mentioned that Jane Fonda starred and was
naked in quite a few scenes. This I HAD to see!

It

A mystery of the ages finally SOLVED!

I am not a master chef. And I'll admit -- some things in the kitchen baffle me. Like how does one slice a piece of cheese? I always thought this would be one of those secrets I'd be destined to go through life not knowing. But now, for the first time, like a great magic trick revealed, comes actual instructions on exactly how you slice a piece of cheese. And as if that weren't mind blowing

Julia Duffy, Jan Smithers, and the Pineapple

Yes, it’s a holiday weekend, but I never stand down from my Friday Question watch. So here they are:

Klee gets us started:

Perhaps it's been brought up before. Kirstie as Shelley's replacement brought new life to the show. On the other hand, when Julia Duffy replaced Delta Burke on Designing Women, the show never quite recovered. Conversely, when Julia replaced Jennifer Holmes on Newhart,

Dave Niehaus celebrates the 4th of July

Dave Niehaus WAS Seattle baseball.  From their very first game until he unfortunately passed away in 2010, Dave was the voice of the Mariners.  He was passionate, colorful, and something that is sadly almost gone in baseball broadcasting these days -- a storyteller.  Even with bad teams, fans would tune in just to hear Dave spin a yarn.  Play-by-play was an art.  And now, as someone said, the

Happy July 4th

Why the hell do people buy home fireworks?

How many fingers and eyebrows do they have to lose? How many trailer parks have to burn down before they learn?

What parent in his right mind with children would set off something called a 12 inch
“strike force missile”?

Or a “Mad Dog”
 “Bazooka Bear”
“Titanium
Cracker”
“Dragon’s Wrath”
“Big Mama Jama"
“Brutal Force”
“Nuke
Power”
“Pull String

It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp

People generally can’t believe that I’ve had so many careers. Comedy writer, baseball announcer, director, Amway salesman, screaming disc jockey, etc. They say no one has worn more hats. That’s lovely to hear and I’m very proud of my accomplishments (especially Amway), but I’m here to tell ya – it’s not even close.

Reading the wedding announcements in a recent New York Times I came upon

Following up on Yesterday's post

First off, you guys were GREAT yesterday!!   Thanks so much for the amazing comments.  I think I agree with every single one of your pet peeves.  If you haven't read yesterday's post, just skim my rant and go right to the comments. 



I even agree about the ones you cited from shows I wrote.  A MASH episode David Isaacs and I penned called "The Merchant of Korea" involved a poker game where they

Things that drive me crazy

Okay.  I admit -- it's a long list that covers just about everything in daily life.  But I'm going to concentrate today on television. 

As a TV writer, these things stick out for me. And some of them I’m guilty of doing myself. But there are bits of behavior or speech patterns that are frequently used that don’t feel real. And yet, they’re very acceptable on TV although not in real life

One of the worst movie trailers EVER

Here's a movie trailer for THE LEGEND OF LYLAH CLARE, a 1968 film about the inner workings of Hollywood.  I defy you to find one frame of subtlety in this movie.  I think even Faye Dunaway would say, "Whoa, ease up on the throttle."  This movie  makes  THE OSCAR seem understated.   My thanks to bad movie aficionado, Mark Legan for turning me onto this gem.  I'm guessing it's not available on

Even I can't get an agent

The difficulty in securing an agent is not confined to those writers
just starting out. I tried to get a theatrical agent when I wrote my
play a few years ago and hit a brick wall, even with my resume. And I
didn’t list AfterMASH so I know it’s not that.

The
Hollywood literary agency that represented me did not have a theater
department so when I wrote my play a few years ago I decided to

How accurate is CALIFORNICATION?

For many of you the 4th of July holiday begins today. What better way to celebrate than with Friday Questions?

Dodgerdog has one near and dear to my heart:

Both "Episodes" and "Californication" have story arcs involving television writers getting it on with hot young actresses on their shows. (Hilarity ensues.)

The public is well aware that movie producers and directors often have "special

Natalie Wood's most erotic scene

A lot of you yesterday wanted me to post some Natalie Wood pictures.  For new readers, whenever I can't find an appropriate visual I post Natalie Wood photos.  She's been my all-time favorite since the first time I saw her in THE GREAT RACE.  I was at that impressionable age when... well, my hormones were exploding.  13 year-old Kenny sat in the Pantages Theater thinking " Holy God!  What is

WARNING: This post may suck

The hardest part of writing a blog is coming up with topics. Once I come up with a decent topic I’m usually off to the races. Today I have no idea what to write. So I thought I would use that as an experiment. Experiment is a nice way of saying I may never do this again. But here’s the plan: I’m going to just start writing, free associating, and just keep going. It may turn out great; It

RIP Gary David Goldberg

Gary David Goldberg was what the hippie movement was supposed to be. Before it all got corrupted by drugs, greed, and bad fashion the point was to spread compassion, understanding, love for one another, and place the human spirit over material wealth. If anyone fulfilled the promise of our generation it was Gary Goldberg. (I always knew him just as Gary. The David was silent.) Gary

Superstars in the shadows

There’s a great new documentary out called 20 FEET FROM STARDOM. It was a big hit at Sundance and is now playing a limited theatrical run. That might mean one theater in LA, New York, and Madison, Wisconsin. But if it’s playing in your area, check it out. Or when it gets to Netflix in twenty minutes, flag it.

The movie is about backup singers – those incredibly talented musicians who you

How to hit on Margaret Colin

Guys, how’s this for a sure fire pick-up line?

Margaret
Colin is a fine actress. You’ve seen her on many things I’m sure.
Recently you've seen her in THE GOOD WIFE, NURSE JACKIE, and GOSSIP GIRL. She’s been in
INDEPENDENCE DAY, THREE MEN AND A BABY, and SOMETHING WILD among other
features. In the late 80s and early 90s she was very hot in television.
She starred in such series as

Vintage Disneyland

This is an AMAZING video. It's an hour long but features tons of lost footage on the construction and evolution of Disneyland. Lots of great facts too as one of the Disney Imagineers leads you through it. Included is a simulated tour through a ride that was never built.   How one man conceived this and actually built this amusement park it is extraordinary.  The logistics and amount of

More of the CHEERS outline

Earlier this week I posted a portion of a CHEERS outline and it prompted a couple of Friday Questions. Many of you also asked to see more of the outline so I’m providing that too.

B.B. Callow asks:

Why is the outline so detailed if it's only an outline? If you kept all the dialogue from the teaser and formatted it to script form, it would be very close to what the finished teaser would look

James Gandolfini RIP

Like everyone else, I was shocked and saddened by the sudden death of James Gandolfini. He was 51.

How many actors could play a vicious gangster who had a conscience and you actually believed it? How many actors could command any scene or any stage? How many actors could play loveable as well as hateful? And how many actors could play comedy as well as heavy drama?

And despite all

What a CHEERS outline looked like

In digging through some old papers I came upon a CHEERS outline.  A number of you have asked what a sitcom outline looks like.  There is no set format.  This is the one used by CHEERS, FRASIER, and all of my series.  What we like about it is that half the page is blank.  It's very easy to scribble down notes.   Our outlines are generally about 15 pages. 

Anyway, here's a taste of what a CHEERS

If Christopher Nolan re-booted MARY POPPINS

Memo:

FROM: Christopher Nolan
TO: President of Walt Disney Pictures

SUBJECT: Re-boot of MARY POPPINS

After watching the original 1964 movie once I know how we could improve this beloved children’s classic and make it relevant for today’s theatergoers.

The color scheme must be grey.  Most of the film will take place at night.  

It is still a period piece but we update it slightly. It

Save the date

I'm holding my once-a-year SITCOM ROOM seminar on the weekend of October 26-27 in Los Angeles.   It's the only hands-on workshop that let's you actually experience what it's like to be in a writers room.   All the laughs and indigestion. Enrollment is limited to only twenty students.   I'll let you know when registration is open, but if you're on our mailing list you'll be alerted 24 hours

Superman: my review

The reaction has been mixed.

Every opportunity for humor, compassion or plausible responses to otherworldly phenomena is buried beneath product placements and CGI special effects.
- Joe Williams, St. Louis Post-Dispatch

The greatest movie ever made!
-- James Olsen, Metropolis Daily Planet

The filmmakers still didn’t get it right. Even with the “genius” of Christopher Nolan and the wonders

Happy Father's Day!

Especially to my own father, Cliff, who is both my hero and role model.

Note to those wives and kids planning to celebrate: no brunches. That’s
Mother’s Day stuff. Let the old man sit in front of the TV and watch
NASCAR or the WNBA. 

Or watch FIELD OF DREAMS.

And now, as a public service, here are some movies NOT to watch on Father’s Day:




FEAR STRIKES OUT

CHINATOWN

SHINE

WALK

Dating a witch

Here's another short exerpt from my book THE ME GENERATION...BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE '60s).   It's the PERFECT last minute Father's Day gift that you can order here.   This is the perfect post for June 15th (you'll see why).   It's 1967.  I've just gone out on a date with Eleanor.  During the date she casually mentioned that she was a witch. 

Eleanor was extremely cute. Huge blue eyes,

Can TV writers go back and forth between sitcoms and dramas?

Happy Flag Day.  Many years ago on this date I joined the Army Reserves.  Amazingly, the country still exists.   Fly Old Glory and leave your Friday Questions in the comments section. Thanks. Here are today’s:

Dan Ball asks:

How easily can a TV writer go back and forth between sitcoms and dramas?

It’s never easy because writers get pigeonholed. Even if you’re established you might have

Pregnant & Dating

In my eternal quest to find you the most idiotic reality shows, I present for your astonishment – PREGNANT & DATING. Who knew with a title like that that the show would be absurd? It airs on WE.

The show follows five pregnant available women. There’s Kiesha, formerly of the group Xscape… Shana, a former bikini model… Melissa, a fashion stylist… Megan, a knothead from the O.C. (“I went

Who deserves the Best Drama Emmy?

The Emmy ballots went up on line on Monday. (They close the 28th.) The toughest category should be Best Drama. It’s tough because (a) there are so many excellent shows to choose from, and (b) very few people have seen any of them.

Unless you have cable or satellite and Netflix you’re missing out on some amazing programs. Other than THE GOOD WIFE on CBS I can’t think of a single

Budgeting your movie

Lots of people are considering making their own independent movies. Or at least putting together financing. With High-Def cameras relatively cheap and editing that can be done on your MacBook Pro – suddenly feature films are way more affordable.  And there's Kickstarter if you don't mind competing with the Mamet sisters.  This prompted a Friday Question that is worthy of a full post. It’s

Prime rib only $1.25

How’s this for a deal?

There’s a famous restaurant in Los Angeles (and now a few other places) called Lawry’s. It specializes in prime rib. Even if you’re vegan you gotta try this prime rib. A clogged artery or two is a small price to pay for a slab of this he-man delicacy. Lawry’s is an LA institution like the Hollywood sign and silicone breasts. The prime rib is cut at your table.

What to get Dad for Fathers Day

Dad's are always tough to shop for.  How many ties, and tools, and Tiger Woods commemorative plates can you buy him?   How many shirts, and socks, and lawn gnomes?  Well, this year I have the answer.  A handsome paperback (or Kindle or audio download) of my book, THE ME GENERATION... BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE '60s).  Yes, this is a shameless plug but you'll notice no Google Ads ever appear along

In the spirit of Tony revivals...

...here are highlights from my past Tony reviews. I won’t be reviewing them this year because they’re tape delayed and I don’t want to stay up until 4:00 writing a review of a show that only I saw. But I love the Tony’s and if you do too, here are excerpts from my previous snarky reviews to get in the mood.

Usually I say the Tonys are the only award show where no one thanks their wives.

Weekend odds and ends...

Fragments of ideas and miscellaneous observations...

Does anyone else think James Taylor looks like Matt Weiner?

The big problem Hollywood has always had with Superman is making him relevant and cool. I don’t think they help their cause by putting him in a fucking Carls Jr. fast food burger commercial.

Went to the Dodgers-Braves game Thursday night. Yasiel Puig, the 20 year-old Dodger

Friday Questions

Time for Friday Questions. The theme this week seems to be stars.

Ryan asks:

Frasier's first wife, the children's entertainer "Nanny G," was played by Emma Thompson on an episode of Cheers, then by Laurie Metcalf on an episode of Frasier years later. Would you happen to know if any attempt was made to get Thompson to reprise the role?

Yes. Ms. Thompson was unavailable. I will say it was

For my consideration...

For members of the TV Academy, this is the best time of year. Because this is when we get all the screener DVD’s for shows that hope to be considered for primetime Emmys.

Every day I eagerly check the mail and there are envelopes and boxes containing specials, documentaries, the best episodes of series, mini-series, British series, sometime complete series, and about three dozen programs

Coming this Fall

As a former showrunner of new shows, one of my constant battles was with the network promotion department. The network never aired enough promos of our show to suit me. I’m sure all showrunners say this (except maybe the WHITNEY guys two years ago – I’m surprised NBC isn’t still promoting it even after canceling it).

And when networks do run your promo, in which show do they air it in?

The 101 Best Written TV Series

The WGA just announced its 101 BEST WRITTEN TV SERIES OF ALL TIME. Proud to say that shows I wrote for finished 5th (MASH), 8th (CHEERS), 11th (THE SIMPSONS) and 23rd (FRASIER). We’ll never know if they would have ranked higher had I not written for them. But seriously, I’d consider it a tremendous honor just to be associated with one show on this list, much less four. And to have all

The one Kickstarter celebrity campaign I can support

I know I've been down on actors taking advantage of their notoriety to get money from fans on Kickstarter, but suddenly a project has come along that's so important, so VITAL that even I have to change my tune.

Zosia and Clara Mamet, daughters of poverty stricken playwright, David Mamet, need $32,000 to make a music video of their original song.  Zosia, of course, is one of the girls on

RIP Jean Stapleton

There would be no ALL IN THE FAMILY without Jean Stapleton. Edith Bunker passed away yesterday at age 90. Archie Bunker – played so masterfully by Caroll O’Connor – was the most bigoted, crude character television comedy had ever seen (up until that time). Forget how funny he was. The audience needs some cue to know it’s okay to laugh. Otherwise, they just hate him and that’s that. O’

It was 46 years ago today...

...that the Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club album by the Beatles was released. Here's what I said about it in my book (which you could and SHOULD buy here for a ridiculously low price): 

It's June 1, 1967 and I'm a teenager working at Wallichs Music City, a record store in the San Fernando Valley...

In June a ton of boxes from Capital Records arrived. Inside was the new Beatles album – Sgt

When my mind (and everything else) was in the sewer

Here's an episode of JUST SHOOT ME I directed. Things to look for: Lisa Edelstein guests. I had an orangutan to deal with, a water stunt, and a special glow-in-the-dark effect. All in front of a studio audience.

The orangutan was somewhat unpredictable. You'd give him an acting note and he'd forget it. I told the cast to just stay in character if he did anything bizarre, and I told

The dumbest Friday Questions I've received

Sometimes I get bizarre questions so I thought today I’d try to answer some of them.  Names have been withheld to protect the embarrassed. These were actual questions submitted.  NOTE:  I post these in the spirit of fun, not to be mean-spirited (which is why I'm not identifying anyone).  I love your questions and answer them every week.  But I do get some goofy ones and people are always

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS: my review

No SPOILER ALERT necessary. A lot of space stuff happens and you go home. There are thrilling chases, battle scenes, destruction, beaming, dogfights, malfunctions, and grabbing railings at the last second but I won’t divulge in which occur.

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS is a fun ride with great special effects. I just wish they had had half the budget. Maybe then they would have spent more

My thoughts on the first ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT episode

Since a lot of you wondered.

I was never a super big ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT fan. Found it very funny in spots and trying too hard in others. I re-watched a few episodes of the original series to get myself re-acquainted and found them even better than I had remembered. I’ll be honest – I’m not a Will Arnett fan. Never been. Find him sketchy and not funny in anything he’s in. So that’s a

Waiter-speak

Is there a language course waiters are required to take these days? Must they pass Waiter-speak before being hired? Who started this current trend where waiters are no longer allowed to converse like normal people? If it were one or two I’d say it was an affectation but they all talk like this now – as if there were a handbook. Maybe this is just an L.A. phenomenon, you tell me. And if

Behind the Candleabra -- my review

BEHIND THE CANDELABRA, now playing on HBO, is LA CAGE AUX FOLLES meets BOOGIE NIGHTS. It’s at times hilarious, creepy, fascinating, and horrifying. But let’s be real. You’re not tuning in because you have so many unanswered questions about Liberace. Many of you don’t even know who Liberace is (or was more accurately). You’re curious as to whether Michael Douglas can pull off playing a

Nice article about me...

... in the Kirkus Review of books.  Print edition even.  Thanks to Matt Domino for making me come off sounding somewhat literary.   You can find it here.  

Look, I'm just happy they used a decent picture and gave a link to where you can buy my book. 

Thanks again.   It seems weird to say Happy Memorial Day so have an enjoyable Memorial Day while remembering the purpose of the holiday. 

Memorial Day -- and then staff work begins

Happy
Memorial Day. This is the time of the year when writing staffs go
back to work. If you’re an aspiring TV scribe, I hope someday that’ll
be you. Here’s what you can sort of expect…at least on the comedy side.

The
first week will just be sharing vacation stories, home remodeling
nightmares, and trashing reality shows. You’ll go out for long
lunches, bitch about how much other

#ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT is back

Okay, so I was one of those people who stayed up until midnight last night to see the premier of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT on Netflix. How often does a season debut of a situation comedy qualify as an “event”? Quick! Name the new Ann Heche show that premiered last week! But the articles and interest on social networks for #ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT (everything has a hash tag these days) have been so

My brief stint on KRTH 101

By short I mean two shifts. I was the emergency fill-in guy for one weekend in the spring of 2007. These were my first disc jockey shows in like fifteen years, and I haven't done one since. So I must have really impressed them. But I've had a lot of requests for this from radio freaks so on this holiday weekend I thought I'd post it.  I'm a little hesitant though.  You commenters have been

Friday Questions

Ah, the unofficial start of summer and higher gas and airline prices! Let’s get your holiday weekend started with some Friday Questions.

Mark is up first.

I read that they did write a script for Cleese to return to Cheers, but he turned it down. So the character was rewritten and recast with John McMartin for the episode "The Visiting Lecher" (McMartin's character is an old colleague of

How I'd fix MAD MEN

MAD MEN is a wonderful show. It has richly deserved all the many honors it has received. Part of its appeal is that the viewer has to work a little to fully appreciate what's going on. He has to decipher subtle clues and make connections between events and moments – some that are separated by three or more seasons. The viewer is usually rewarded for such diligence with a deeper

Location, location, location

My cable company offers a couple of nostalgia channels featuring old time series. I like to call it the “Doesn’t Hold Up Network” because a lot of these shows that I remember loving back in the day are now just awful. Who knew the years wouldn’t be kind to GIDGET?

The reason I find myself stopping at one of these channels (besides hoping to see Claudine Longet guest star as a murderer) is

The great Mel Brooks

Great PBS special last night on Mel Brooks – truly one of the funniest people in the galaxy. I recently got the box set DVD's of his work and it's been a true joy revisiting the laughs.

Happy to say I've met him several times. The first was when I was working at the KIIS Broadcasting Workshop. He was at the radio station promoting his new movie, YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN. Even then he was an

If I retooled AMERICAN IDOL

AMERICAN IDOL has announced it will undergo a major facelift in order refresh a clearly dying franchise. Not only do I not know who was crowned last week’s AMERICAN IDOL, I didn’t even know the finals were on. And I used to review the show every week the first five or six years. The judges are being replaced (even Randy, which is like closing the barn door ten years after the animals had

My toughest interview

In the minor leagues I had to do a pre-game interview every day.  Most of the players were happy to talk to me, but not all.  This is me interviewing Syracuse Chief, Lou Thornton in 1988.   By the way -- still easier than interviewing Barry Bonds. 

My commencement speech to the Class of '13

June is the graduation time of year. I guess a hundred years ago those commencement speakers were inspiring and offered thoughts and insights that were new and fresh. But now, Jesus! Be your own person. Never give up. You have a responsibility to society. Success comes from within. Show courage. You can make a difference. Set aside time to smell the roses. Let faith be your guide.

My final word (I hope) on Zach Braff and Kickstarter

I thought I was going to drop this subject but there have been more developments and I’ve been barraged by requests to comment. And since I can’t produce a slick video and get fifty major websites to embed it like some people can, I’ll have to take one more day on the blog to respond. Tomorrow I’m back to the usual nonsense I promise.

After getting the money he begged for on Kickstarter

A FRASIER creator helps me with Friday Questions

We have a guest expert answering the first of your Friday Questions – Peter Casey, one of the creators of FRASIER. The other questions unfortunately, you just get me.

Andy Ihnatko wants to know:

How did "Frasier" put together those brilliant silent scenes that played out under the end music? Were they fully written or did everyone just work out a funny piece of business during rehearsals?

Another "How I got fired" story

Here’s another tale from my radio disc jockey days. It was a great field to be in if you didn’t mind zero security and bosses who were mad as hatters.

In 1974 I was on KYA, San Francisco, doing the 10 pm – 2 am shift and happy as a clam. The program director liked me, the general manager liked me. I was the flavor-of-the-month. In radio that meant start sending out tapes.

The station

A CHEERS story I had never heard before

Last Saturday night at UC Santa Barbara there was a discussion of CHEERS by series creators Glen & Les Charles and James Burrows moderated by CHEERS writer/producer Cheri Steinkellner. It was a fun, lively, informative evening filled with clips, tips, and anecdotes.

Later in the program George Wendt joined them on stage and told a story that even I had never heard.

It was Kirstie Alley’s

What it's like to go Viral

I woke up one week ago today and discovered I had 129,000 hits in one hour. What the fuck? I had gone viral.

This was a new experience for me. Over the last 7 1/2 years I had had big spikes in traffic, usually when I had guest bloggers like Aaron Sorkin or my daughter, Annie, but never had I received one million page views – not even for my Traci Lords rant.

Now that the craziness has

What's the latest on all those TV pilots?

Things are starting to fall into place for the networks' fall schedules. Many of the pilots that they were so high on two weeks ago are dead. Sure things like BEVERLY HILLS COP didn’t make it on the CBS schedule. Other front runners are wondering what happened.

The networks went back to New York last week to cobble together their schedules. As a prominent agent once said, “Everything

Vacation tips: Where to find writers

I
read articles all the time about where tourists visiting Los Angeles
can see stars. There are also maps to the stars homes (although Jack
Benny and Lucille Ball have moved to more permanent residences. ). But
what about all those millions of visitors who come to Tinsel Town just
to catch a glimpse at writers? There’s yet to be an article about
that….

Until now.

So for those of you

Happy Mothers Day

This
is my favorite mother joke. Actually it's a mother-in-law joke and it
comes from the very politically incorrect but screamingly funny AMOS
& ANDY SHOW. I believe this was written by Mosher & Connelly
(who went on to create LEAVE IT TO BEAVER and THE MUNSTERS).

The Kingfish sets up a blind date for "Mama". Hoping the poor guy would
like her and take her off of his hands he arranges

Recommendations

As longtime readers of this blog can imagine, I am sooooo broken up over the cancellation of WHITNEY that it's hard to write a new post today.  What is NBC thinking?  (Note for new readers:  I'm joking. I can't believe WHITNEY lasted two years.   A full updates on pilots arrives Monday.) 

So instead I will offer  some recommendations. I have not been paid or compensated in any way for these.  I

What does THE BATES MOTEL have in common with MUPPET BABIES?

Tomorrow night I plan to be in Santa Barbara where CHEERS creators Glen & Les Charles and James Burrows will speak at UCSB. Should be fun.  I've always wanted to meet them.  Meanwhile, keep those Friday Questions coming. Here are this week’s:

Ron P. starts us off:

There's obviously been a lot of spinoffs... some successful... others not so much. But has there even been a prequel ?

Okay,

Taking a dip in the SHARK TANK

As opposed to the one I've been swimming in the last two days.

The only reality show I’m hooked on is SHARK TANK, Friday nights on ABC. No one sings, no one has to ride a bike through Siberia, Salsa dance, prepare a 5-star meal on a George Foreman grill, share a house with Melissa Rivers, not shower for a month, or whore themselves for a date. No one’s self worth is determined by Sharon,

My response to your Zach Braff comments

First off, wow! I’ve never gone really viral before. Yesterday I got 622,000 hits. I’m going to be real pissed if today it goes back down to 12.

Thanks to all of you who commented, even those who disagreed with me. Your arguments were thoughtful, well stated, and you made some great points. See Roseanne? People can take issue with me without calling me an asshat.

And you all are

I won't give Zach Braff one dime

Zach Braff is trying to raise money on Kickstarter to fund a movie he wants to make. Zach Braff is a good actor and a fine filmmaker. GARDEN STATE was a terrific movie. But I wouldn’t give him a dime.

Why?

Because it defeats the whole purpose of Kickstarter.

The idea – and it’s a great one – is that Kickstarter allows filmmakers who otherwise would have NO access to Hollywood and NO

The Days of Wine and Onions

I’ve done many travelogues from major cities like New York, Paris, and London.  (You're welcome to buy the book.)  But today comes one from a small town, Walla Walla (along with a lot of photos). I was there to speak at the kick-off banquet for their summer college league team, the Sweets, and visit my good friend Mr. Great Big Radio who moved there when he entered the Witness Protection

The CHEERS episode we wrote that is now very timely

With the recent announcement by NBA player, Jason Collins that he's gay, I've been asked to talk about the "Boys in the Bar" episode of CHEERS that my partner David Isaacs and I wrote.  The story has suddenly become very timely.  So here again is my behind-the-scenes account of that episode:
Sometimes you just never know.David and I wrote an episode of CHEERS the first season called “Boys in the

My greatest home run call

Hello from Walla Walla, Washington where I spoke this week at the Walla Walla Sweets kickoff dinner.  People always ask "what's your greatest home run call?"  It came my first year in the minors with the Syracuse Chiefs, and it became sort of a legend.   The Syracuse Post-Standard even did a story about it as recently as last month.   So I told that story and will repeat it here.   Even if

Friday Questions

Friday Questions this week come to you from Walla Walla, Washington. Your first question is “what am I doing in Walla Walla, Washington?” I spoke last night at the kick off banquet for their summer college league team, the Sweets. Thanks to all for a great and fun evening. Okay, here are your Q’s and my A’s:

Starting us off is Andrew Wickliffe:

I'm watching season 11 of MASH right now

These are the two guys we wanted to be

When my partner, David Isaacs and I were starting out, writing spec scripts and trying to break in, THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW was on every afternoon. We’d watch it religiously, both for inspiration and laughs. Unlike most shows today, the writing credits of THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW were at the end.

We considered ourselves such students of the show that we tried to guess who wrote

Summer Movies Preview 3

Part 2 was yesterday.  Part 1 on Monday.  Today I wrap up my annual look of what will be going on in the background while people text:  


THE BLING RING -- Emma Watson in a true story about teenagers who rip off stars like Lindsey Lohan. Wouldn’t it be great if Emily was caught and then had to share the same cell as Lindsey? Now that movie I’d see.

THE INTERNSHIP – Vince Vaughn re-teams

Summer Movies Preview 2 (the sequel)

This is either my Summer Movies Preview or Fall Netflix Preview.   Part 1 was yesterday.

THE LONE RANGER – Johnny Depp as Tonto.   I guess it’s still politically okay to be in white face.

SMURFS 2 – They’re blue, they’re back, and they’re pissed!

DESPICABLE ME 2 – They’re pink, they’re back, and they’re pissed!

RED 2 – They’re red, they’re back, and they’re pissed!

2 GUNS – When

What does someone have to do to get some respect in this town?

The Lakers suck this year.  Last night they were eliminated in four games.  The Clippers are far better, more exciting, and yet, this photo I took over the weekend tells you all you need to know about LA.  The Clippers are the Rodney Dangerfield of Los Angeles.

Summer Movies Preview

There's like 56 big budget Sci-Fi/Doomsday/every-city-now-looks-like-Detroit blockbusters out this summer. Otherwise -- sequels, comic book heroes, and Ryan Reynolds' fifteenth attempt to open a movie. Here, as always, is my Summer Movies Preview. Full disclosure: I haven't seen any of these films. But when has that ever prevented me from judging them? Turn off your cellphones. Here we go:

Daniel Day-Lewis proves why he's the greatest actor ever

From last night's correspondents dinner...  Hilarious!  I don't know is playing Steven Spielberg but he's pretty good too.

CHEERS -- the Russian Poetry Corner

Here’s
a scene of ours from a first season episode of CHEERS called "Any
Friend of Diane's".  I posted this a few years ago and still get requests for it.  Diane’s college chum Rebecca (played by Diane
runner-up Julia Duffy) comes to visit the bar. Imagine a sitcom today
being allowed to do this run.


INT. BAR – DAY

Diane
and Rebecca are chattering away in French. They laugh together.

I Love Lucy in REAL color

This is an amazing video. Someone in the audience of a 1951 taping of I LOVE LUCY took color home movies. Because of the sprockets I'm guessing he only shot when there was a lot of other noise on the set, or between takes. But anyway, here are scenes of the Copa nightclub and the Ricardo apartment, intercut with clips from the actual episode. This was the first time in my entire life that I

Friday Questions

Everything you ever wanted to know about show business (if what you ever wanted to know is in these four Friday Questions.)

Robert Pierce gets us started:

Ken, what is your opinion of pilot script competitions such as NYTVF's (New York Television Festival)Fox Comedy Script Contest? Do you think they are a valuable tool for those who are out of the industry to use to break into the business or

My radio idol wanted to beat the crap out of me

Readers seem to enjoy my radio war stories, otherwise entitled: One Disc Jockey’s Mediocre Career. Several of you have requested I write a book about them. Buy my current book first. But to tease you, here’s another Top 40 tale.

In the fall of 1974 I had finally made the big(ish) time. I was hired to do the evening shift on K100, Los Angeles. This was the first time I was on the radio in

R.I.P. Allan Arbus

Sorry to hear of the passing of Allan Arbus who played Dr. Sidney Freedman, the psychiatrist on MASH. I was surprised to learn he was 95. Weren’t you? He appeared just a few years ago at the TV LAND awards and looked great. I never would have guessed he was in his 90’s then.

I worked with Allan on two projects. MASH certainly, but did you know he was also in the movie David Isaacs and

My problem with MAD MEN this season

WARNING: This is one of those Ken’s an old crank who has to rant posts.

When I’m creating a show my first rule is that I’ve got to love my characters. They may be flawed – they should be flawed – but ultimately I love them and care about them. And hopefully, I can convey that to the audience and they’ll love them too.

Again, the characters don’t have to be particularly loveable.

My review of 42

You’re pitching a movie to a Hollywood studio executive.

YOU: You have this hero. Lots of people hate him. One guy in particular mercilessly razzes him…

EXEC: A bully! So it’s a bully movie? 

YOU: Yes! The ultimate bully movie.

EXEC: And eventually the hero has had enough and beats the living shit out of the bully! I love it!  Feel-good summer fare.

YOU: No, no. The big twist

News anchor signs on by saying F**K and S**T

What a way to launch your news career. Yikes.

A true Hollywood movie star

Regular readers of this blog know that when I can't find an appropriate photo to go along with a post I just upload a Natalie Wood photo.  Some of you have been kind enough to send me photos you don't normally see.  I haven't had much cause to use them lately so they've begun to pile up.  And I figured, hey, the photos are more interesting than the articles.  So today I want to give thanks to

The most elegant speech in support of Boston

From today's pre-game ceremony at Fenway Park, delivered elegantly by David Ortiz, "Big Papi." I couldn't have said it any better myself.
UPDATE: It was blocked but now a new version exists. Enjoy it while you can.

Stars I claimed to have discovered... even though I really didn't

Anyone who has been producing TV series for any length of time will have similar stories. They can look back at actors they worked with or hired that later became big names. Here are some of mine.

Kat Dennings -- Star of 2 BROKE GIRLS was in a pilot of ours called SNOBS. We never had her say "vagina", which is why it never got picked up.

Aaron Paul -- Emmy winner for BREAKING BAD was in

Friday Questions

 
Friday Questions coming at ya. Duck!

Garrett starts:

Most shows are now going into the summer hiatus. On shows like Cheers and Frasier, did their main sets just sit on the sound stage all summer? Or were they struck so the studio could use them for other things?

Those two particular shows did not strike their sets. They stayed up all year. Coincidentally, they were both on the same

What shows influenced me?

Here’s one of those questions that deserves an entire post.

It’s from longtime reader Mary Stella:

I'd like to know what shows influenced you the most in television and how, and what's your dream three-hour night of television, including any shows from any decade, including now.



The first show that influenced me was CRUSADER RABBIT. I was probably four. But what I loved was that in

In case you missed it...

Thanks to everyone who participated in last night's teleseminar on writing partners featuring me and my writing partner, David Isaacs.   Great questions.  It was a lot of fun.

Many of you asked if there was a way to get a recording of it?   Yes, if you are already on our alert list.  You'll be emailed the details of how to obtain it.

If you are not on the alert list then I'm afraid it's not

Writing partner etiquette

Tonight at 9 PM Eastern/ 6 PM Pacific I’ll be holding another FREE teleseminar. The topic is writing partners and my partner, David Isaacs will be joining me. We’ll answer all your questions. If you’re interested in participating and not already on the alert list here’s where you go to sign up.   You must sign up by noon PDT.  Did I mention it's FREE?

This is the type of subject matter we’re

How can anything be funny today?

Imagine being a comedy writer, being in the writers’ room along with the rest of the staff, rewriting a script that will be filmed tomorrow, and you get word of the Boston explosions.

Try being funny after that.

That’s what numerous rooms all over town faced yesterday in the wake of that senseless cowardice attack.

If it was not imperative that the script had to be finished that

What's currently happening in the world of pilots

We’re in the middle of pilot season. For those not intimately involved, here’s what’s currently happening:

Network executives are running all over town to get from runthroughs to table readings to filmings. And Coldwater Canyon is closed. As they’re stuck on Laurel Canyon desperately trying to make a runthrough for a pilot they pretty much know is dead they’re muttering to themselves. “

My celebrated "hippie" period

Here's
another excerpt from my book THE ME GENERATION...BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE '60).  I'm going to keep doing these until I sell enough books to get in the Amazon top 10... or at least 10,000.   Here's where you go to get your ebook copy.  And here's where you go to get the handsome paperback.  Read the reviews.  Many are from people I don't even know.  By 1967 I had been as far south as San

Jonathan Winters 1925-2013

Jonathan Winters was quite simply a comic genius. I was privileged to watch him in action a few times and was absolutely in awe. No one was faster, more inventive, or funnier than Jonathan Winters.

And it was all off-the cuff.  Amazing.

He passed away yesterday at 87. What a brutal week this has been.

I was first introduced to Jonathan Winters as a kid. He would appear as a guest on

Friday Zweifel

Do people look forward to Friday because of my questions or the weekend? I’ll foolishly assume the former.

Anja leads us off:

Please can you share your insight in how far translations usually get guidance from the original writers, if any? In Germany, every single non-German series or movie gets broadcast dubbed or, on rare occasion, subtitled. Over the years many translations (The

Free teleseminar!

I will be conducting another free teleseminar (i.e. great big telephone conference call) next Wednesday, April 17th at 9 PM Eastern/ 6 PM Pacific.  The subject is "writing partners" and I will be joined by my writing partner, David Isaacs.   We'll be answering all the questions about partnerships that you have sent in.  

Here's how it will work:  Just sign up for my SITCOMROOM alert list and

B100 reasons to love radio

Happy to say I was a disc jockey back when radio was fun. In the ‘70s there were two formats that appealed to young listeners. Laid-back album oriented FM stations where all the DJ’s were stoned or at least aspired to be. And Top 40 where the presentation was high energy. Speed instead of downers. I gravitated towards Top 40. There was more freedom to be zany, you could talk every three

If my life were like MAD MEN

I watch MAD MEN and enjoy it. Then I read Alan Sepinwall’s recap and realize, “Holy shit! I missed half of what was going on!"  There was all this symbolism and existential meaning and I was concentrating on whether we’d see Megan naked.  Matthew Weiner writes on numerous levels and I marvel at Alan’s ability to analyze each one.  But it got me wondering – what if my life were like MAD

Annette Funicello 1942-2013

This one hit me hard. Very hard. Me and fifty-million baby boomers. Annette Funicello passed away yesterday at age 70.  She had a major and lasting impact on all our lives. 

We were the first generation weaned on television. Even though our screens were twelve inches, the images were only in black and white, there were only a handful of channels, and often the reception was snowy or

How Matt Lauer can save his career

INT. STARBUCKS – BEVERLY HILLS

CHARLIE SHEEN IS AT A SMALL TABLE HAVING COFFEE. HE’S JOINED BY MATT LAUER.

MATT: Hey, Charlie, thanks for seeing me.

CHARLIE: No problem. No one’s ever flown all the way across the country just to have coffee with me before. At least no man.

MATT: Well, I need some advice.

A HOT WOMAN CROSSES BY.

CHARLIE: Hey Angela. Unless you wanna give me a

CHEERS theme in German

Where everybody knows your name became you have to always produce papers.

Time we'll never get back

We hear all the time that we spend a third of our lives sleeping. What about other precious time?

How much time that we’ll never get back do we spend…

Idling at intersections?

Waiting in doctors’ waiting rooms?

Trying on clothes we don’t wear?

Going through TSA inspections?

Re-reading paragraphs of books we’ve already read?

Talking to phone solicitors?

Sitting through commercials

Eliza Dushku and my swimming pool

One advantage or disadvantage of living in Los Angeles is that some production company might want to use your house for filming.   My house was almost used once.  Talk about the one that got away.  Here's the sad story:

One day five years we get a knock on our front
door. My wife answers to find the location manager for a new pilot
called DOLLHOUSE. It was a Joss Whedon production. She

A rare un-aired Larry Gelbart pilot

UPDATE:  UNFORTUNATELY, THIS VIDEO HAS BEEN TAKEN DOWN.  I invite you to scroll up or down and read other posts.   Sorry about that.

Few people know that Larry Gelbart wrote the first pilot of THREE'S COMPANY. Actually, the first American adaptation of the British series. Imagine the THREE'S COMPANY you know but with smarter jokes and different girls.   I don't know why they decided to

Coping with comedy writer depression

This is a serious Friday Question. More humor tomorrow but today I need to address this. Usually I frown on Anonymous posters but not in this case. 

Here's his question:

Ken, I'm a mid-level writer and have been writing on sitcoms for about six years. Alan Kirschenbaum (pictured above) and Lester Lewis' suicides were chilling because I see how this job may have driven them to it. I see

These are the pilots they're making this year

In a mission far more dangerous than anything they’ve tried on COVERT AFFAIRS, THE AMERICANS, HOMELAND, 24, or CUPCAKE WARS, I managed to obtain the official list of this year’s pilot pick-ups. I was only able to read it once before having to eat it for security reasons. But I took notes – in Klingon of course, as a necessary precaution in case they fell into the wrong hands. One can’t be

One of those great network stories

 ABC has a pilot in development.  Here's the logline:  When Terry Gannon, a recently divorced, single mother, temporarily moves in with her estranged father, a beer swilling former baseball player, she reluctantly starts coaching her son's underdog little league team and is drawn back into the world of sports she vowed to leave behind. 

This is not the first time this basic premise has been

Inside THE PRICE IS RIGHT

My daughter Annie recently attended the taping of THE PRICE IS RIGHT (it will air tomorrow morning, Wednesday) and along with her writing partner, Jon Emerson files this account of it:

Recently, a friend of mine came to visit and wanted to do something “touristy” in the city. I happen to live very close to where they tape THE PRICE IS RIGHT and my dad happens to enjoy getting a day off from

NEWS FLASH: I will be taking over GIRLS

An official announcement will be made later today, but I have been given an offer I couldn't refuse and so I am returning to series television. I just signed to be the new showrunner of GIRLS.  I know.  Mind blowing, isn't it?  I still can't believe it myself.  This is a deal that has been in the works for months. It’s one of the reasons I am not doing baseball this year. I needed to free

A discovered treasure

Tomorrow is the Real Don Steele's birthday.   He would have been 77.   He was the world's most exciting disc jockey and proud to say -- a dear friend.  We were jocks together at two stations in the '70s -- K100 and TenQ, both in Los Angeles.  This was when I used the air name Beaver Cleaver.



Steele was famous for his Friday night sign-offs.  They were wild rants designed to get you amped up

WTF???

What did the Jews ever do to Words With Friends?

Do I know how to read women or what?

A
few years ago I went to see a rather unusual play called TAMARA. The
theater is actually a mansion and the audience follows around the
various cast members as they perform their scenes simultaneously in
different rooms. The idea is to attend with a few people and each
person follows someone else. Then at intermission you get together and
catch everybody up. I know. It’s a lot of

Friday Questions

Ready for some Friday Questions?

Sarah has one regarding a recent post on how you don’t have to write jokes to get laughs.

In the second scene, Jen is prattling on and on and on. Two 120-plus word speeches without interruption. So I've got this question in my head now: How do you make this work as comedy? Do you expect to have pauses in there where the audience will laugh? Lots of

My thoughts on Fallon replacing Leno

So Jimmy Fallon is going to succeed Jay Leno and take over THE TONIGHT SHOW. At one time a change in TONIGHT SHOW hosts was a huge deal. Now it’s as major a story as the Houston Astros changing managers.

And yet, it’s the buzz of the TV media. My question is why? This isn’t 1962 or even 1992.



At one time THE TONIGHT SHOW ruled the airwaves. Host Johnny Carson was the

THE AMERICANS: My review

It’s amazing how much shit you’ll overlook if you just like a show. Case in point is me and THE AMERICANS. The premise is a tad far fetched. Two Russian spies in 1980 who speak perfect English raise an unsuspecting family in suburban Washington D.C. while performing intricate dangerous espionage missions. Meanwhile, the FBI agent assigned to hunt Commie spooks happens to move in right

The pilot you will never see

This is one of those posts where I will ask you to kindly indulge me. There’s no great point. No major lesson. This is just a chance for me to vent and get something off my chest. When you read why you will surely understand. Thank you for humoring me today.

Okay. Here we go…



I owned one of the first home VCR’s. Bought it in the mid ‘70s. It played 3/4 inch tapes in cartridges

Phil Spector: My verdict

If David Mamet had made LINCOLN, the official cause of the president’s death would be boating accident. There’s creative license and there’s saying Japan won World War II. The most authentic thing in this HBO biopic of record producer/marksman Phil Spector is his clown wig.

Yes, there’s a disclaimer at the beginning that says it’s “not based on a true story” but that’s bullshit. Writer/

What are your favorite apps?

This is an idea I flat out stole from writer friend Jay Kogen, but what are the iphone/ipad apps you just can't live without?   There are now something like a million apps.  I know twelve.  And some of the ones I have I never use.  Why did I bother downloading a lightsaber?

So if you would share your favorites, me and the rest of my viewers would greatly appreciate it.  I imagine there should

50 of the most beautiful women ever

This is an amazing video.

We'll always have Vegas

This is the first weekend of March Madness.   Several years ago me and a bunch of my insane friends went to Las Vegas for the four-day college basketball orgy.  To get you in the spirit, thought I'd share that travelogue again today.   This is just one of many humorous travel adventures you'll find in my book WHERE THE HELL AM I?  TRIPS I HAVE SURVIVED, available here for less money than you'll

Friday Questions

Next week I’ll have Good Friday Questions but these are pretty decent too.

Joseph Scarbrough has a follow-up to my post on anthologies:

If networks aren't willing to do anthology series because it cost too much to have new sets and new actors come in all the time... then, how is that any different from having new sets and actors on a regular weekly series? Like say if the main characters

Stage direction -- cut it

Recently I participated in a screenplay reading. As I’ve said on numerous occasions, readings are a terrific way to really access your screenplay (or play or pilot or whatever). There’s nothing like actually hearing it. You’ll get a great sense of what works and what still needs work.

But the one problem with screenplay readings in particular is that so much of a movie is visual, which

Random rants

This is what happens when I bang out a blog post at 1 AM.  I take no responsibility if nothing makes sense. 

Is there a show where Titus Welliver isn’t the bad guy?  He's a good actor but seriously, it's getting ridiculous.  There’s not one other heinous guy in Hollywood? Where’s Dabney Coleman? The sniveling Nazi from RAIDERS? Wile E. Coyote? Ann Coulter?

In a recent episode of GIRLS

Diagnosing problem scripts

Here’s a Friday Question worth an entire post:

It’s from Charles H. Bryan:

Are there times when you look at a script (yours or someone else's) and think "There's something missing, but I don't know what?" Or can you always pretty specifically nail down the problem?

I only wish in my dreams that I could detect all script problems and what the fixes are. But the truth is, there are plenty

Passing the comedy torch

The torch has been passed from Levine & Isaacs to Levine & Emerson. My daughter Annie and her partner Jon saw their first script produced last Friday night – a GOOD LUCK CHARLIE episode for the Disney Channel. It was a hard-earned assignment after six spec scripts and God knows how many nights sitting at PaleyFest events listening to showrunners talk about how great they are. If you’ll

St. Paddy's Day at CHEERS

Here’s
my annual St. Patrick’s Day post.  This is a scene from a CHEERS David Isaacs and I wrote.
One of the many Bar Wars episodes. In this one, it’s St. Paddy’s Day.
Woody had been guarding the bar all night in anticipation that Gary
might try to pull something.

INT. BAR – MORNING

SAM TURNS ON THE LIGHT. HE ENTERS WITH CARLA AND NORM. WE SEE THE
BAR IS ENCASED IN

My snarky history with AMERICAN IDOL

I reviewed AMERICAN IDOL this week and mentioned it would be my last of the season.  The show has gotten stale and routine.  But for several years I had great fun writing snarky re-caps.  So for those new readers who never saw them or blog regulars who want to remember the good time, here's essentially a highlight reel of some of my AMERICAN IDOL reviews. (For current IDOL recaps if you're so

A GREAT commercial

Just click on the little Vimeo.com link in the screen. It will take you to the commercial.


Le papier ne sera jamais mort / Paper is not dead ! from INfluencia on Vimeo.

Friday Questions

Beware the Ides of March but heed these Friday Questions.

Jim S starts us off:

You talked about laughter in the writer's room. My question is what was the dumbest argument you ever witnessed. When I say argument, I mean over something dumb like why so and so never wears socks, or the designated hitter rule.

In the FRASIER room there was an argument once over what Eddie (the dog) was

It's time for AMERICAN IDOL to say goodbye

As longtime readers of this blog know, for years a regular weekly feature was reviewing AMERICAN IDOL. I could usually count on at least one memorable performance, two dead-on comments by Simon Cowell, and twelve idiotic statements by Paula Abdul. At the time the show was fresh and people were actually talking about it the next day. There are so few shared TV experiences anymore. IDOL and

How to get laughs without writing jokes

Most people think that to be a good comedy writer you have to be a good joke writer. That’s not true. Joke writing is a nice talent to have.  But would you believe there are ways of writing hysterically funny scenes without a single “joke?”

How? It’s in the structure. It’s in the comic premise that you set up. Give your character a goal. And then pile on ways that make it harder

EXCLUSIVE!! The REAL story behind Ann Curry's firing.

There’s been much finger-pointing following the public execution – excuse me, “reassignment” of Ann Curry from her position as co-host of THE TODAY SHOW. Who’s to blame? NBC? Matt Lauer? Well, it turns out with all the corporate take-overs NBC has endured over the last couple of years, the man really pulling the strings is none other than Charles Montgomery Burns. This blog has received a

GIRLS and "likeability"

A recent article in ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY defending GIRLS accuses the haters of not appreciating the show because the characters aren’t likable. The writer, Melissa Maerz says:

PEOPLE WHO HATE GIRLS are missing the point. Hannah (Lena Dunham) and her friends are supposed to be many things — vulnerable, arrogant, ambitious, delusional about the way their clothes fit — but likable isn't one of

I hate Pop-Up ads!!!

Okay, this is me going on a rant.I
will not buy anything I see in a pop-up ad. They are the most annoying
form of advertising ever devised. I know the big problem with the
internet is that no one has figured out yet how to make a substantial
profit out of it. That certainly is my
problem. Banner ads are only slightly effective. And newspapers and
other sites have found it’s

Richard Burton & Jack Elam offered the same part

Here's a belated Friday Question time:

From Chris Andelman:

My question is about writing episodes for guest actors. Do you ever sign them first and then write with them in mind?

Yes,
but not always. The CHEERS staff had an idea for a character they
thought would be great for John Cleese. He liked the idea and agreed to
played it. Peter Casey & David Lee then wrote a brilliant script.

Friday Questions

Here are answers to some of your Friday Questions:

Mitch gets us going:

Your comment about ONE DAY AT A TIME falling between the cracks prompts a question, Ken. Have all your years in television, as a writer, a director and a show runner, given you any insight into why some shows remain perennially popular while others fade out? It doesn't necessarily seem to be question of quality. There

Solving a writer's nightmare

What do you do when you have to write a script and on page two you’re stuck? You’ve cleared the story with the producers, the outline has been approved, you have a deadline, and four lines after FADE IN you come to a screeching halt. I feel an arctic breeze go up my sphincter just thinking about it.

It’s happened to me. It’s happened to most writers I know. It can happen to you. And

10,000 hours of practice

 This is one of those posts that seems like it's about sports but it's more about life and has a funny payoff.  Non-sports fans are invited to give it a try. 

They say you need 10,000 hours of practice. I say that’s true – give or take 7,000 hours. It’s true in writing and certainly in learning how to do sports play-by-play. There is no substitute for experience. At least when you try

DOWNTON ABBEY season 3 review

Okay, now that’s it been a few weeks since the DOWNTON ABBEY season finale I think I’ve given sufficient time for everyone who has recorded it to watch it. If not – SPOILER ALERT and WATCH THE DAMN THING ALREADY. This is especially true for you folks in the UK since it aired in your country months ago.

Anyway, these are my thoughts on the third season.  What are yours?

I’m a huge

Meet the creators of THE GOOD WIFE

 (I wanted to call this post "Inside The Good Wife" but that just seemed wrong.)

One of the many fine programs the WGA Foundation sponsors is their “Anatomy of a Script” series in which showrunners and screenwriters discuss in detail their shows/films. Moderated beautifully by Robin Schiff, each week the best scribes in the business discuss their craft. I attend these whenever I can.

Last

Sunday miscellaneous

Who does Nate Silver like for the next Pope?

The good and bad about Los Angeles: Yesterday it was 82 degrees. But you couldn’t drive north. A major freeway is under construction, most northbound lanes are closed for the weekend and surface street traffic on the Westside was completely snarled. A citizen’s group has snapped into action. To protest traffic delays they’re holding a rally,

When your girlfriend's father HATES you

From time to time I've been featuring excerpts from my book about growing up in the San Fernando Valley -- THE ME GENERATION... BY ME (available here.. PLEASE BUY IT). One prompted a comment from fellow classmate Alexis along with a request:

contrary to what you remember, I remember thinking you were cute, funny, and...well, cute and funny will have to suffice.

You should relate the "Helene"

In memory of Bonnie Franklin...

So sorry to hear of the passing of Bonnie Franklin. She was 69. In the mid ‘70s thru mid ‘80s she was the mom on ONE DAY AT A TIME. I had the pleasure of working with her on ALMOST PERFECT in the ‘90s and we remained friends. She also did a screenplay reading for me.

For whatever reason ONE DAY AT A TIME has fallen between the syndication cracks. You don’t see the reruns very often.

Creator/deserters

Ready for some Friday Questions? 

Gazzoo starts us off:

For decades I’ve been convinced that
the first two episodes of the seventh season of M*A*S*H were meant to be
run in reverse order, can you confirm this? “Peace On Us” should have
been the premiere…the opening scenes imply BJ is actually growing his
moustache at that time, not to mention that the big storyline seems more
fit for a

The 30th anniversary of the last MASH episode

Today marks the 30th anniversary of the finale of MASH. For many years it was the single highest rated television program in history. Not sure what finally eclipsed it – either a Super Bowl or the CELEBRITY FIT CLUB episode where Chaz Bono lost seven pounds. In any event, it was an event.

Having been a writer on the show for four of its eleven years, here are some random thoughts and

Worst new tech invention EVER

In the techno-gadget mad crazy race to keep inventing the next big iThing, Google has come up with the worst idea yet, maybe ever – glasses with an interface right in your line of vision. In the top right corner of your right lens will be a box where you can face chat, get GPS instructions, weather and street information, internet access, and texting.  It's like having the Fox football score

Seth MacFarlane won't host next year's Oscars

Seth MacFarlane today tweeted that he has no intention of hosting next year's Oscar ceremony.  This could be because the assignment is so enormous, the criticism was so enormous, or it could be a case of "You can't fire me!  I quit!"  

In any event, it's on to next year.  Scroll down for some host suggestions. 

Final thoughts on the 2013 Oscars

Thanks to everyone for your comments on my Oscar review. A few thoughts, clarifications, rebuttals, concessions, and miscellaneous crap.

First off, it’s great to hear from you even if you disagree with me (as long as you leave a name. There were a few anonymous comments that were just so stupid I assume the authors didn’t know their names.) Some were angry that I didn’t share their

My 2013 Oscar review

The Oscars broke new wind last night. For the first time ever they were hosted by a man who left visible slime trails. The only awards show that Seth MacFarlane is qualified to emcee is the Adult Video Awards. Even then, they should shoot higher. This was that smarmy, unfunny, egotistical cousin at a wedding who stands up and tells the room the bride has herpes.

But more on that later.

Writing the Academy Awards

I’ve never written for the Oscars. I would very much like to, just for the experience. But from what I understand it’s a horrible thankless job.

I did have the chance once, but had to turn it down. My partner and I were showrunning ALMOST PERFECT in 1996. We got a call from Quincy Jones (who was producing the show that year). He had first asked Larry Gelbart who passed. Quincy asked if

How the Best Picture Oscar is determined

Getting you ready for the Oscars tomorrow night. As always, I will be reviewing them Monday morning. But for today…

Ever wonder how the Motion Picture Academy determines “Best Picture?” For the last four years they’ve gone to what they call a Preferential Ballot. How does this work and how can Florida sabotage it?

Voters rate the Best Picture nominees in order of preference. So it

Missing actors and authors

Join in the fun! Leave your questions in the comments section. Thanks.

Rob starts us off:

Around 1977 there were a series of episodes where Loretta Swit appeared in only one scene and was absent from the rest of the show - even the OR scenes. Do you remember if she shot a bunch of random scenes in one day? In the mystery-novel show Nurse Bigelow had more screen time than Margaret!

Wow,

Comics

When I was six I could draw Popeye. The only time I was popular in my entire sixteen-year school career was in the first grade because I would draw Popeye on paper towels for everybody. Unfortunately, by high school that no longer worked. Still, cartooning became a big hobby. By the time I was ten I was drawing entire comic books. Forget that nobody read them. (It’s kinda like when I

The pros and cons of gangbanging

How's that for a provocative title?    Actually, this is a post about TV comedy writing.  Sorry.  It stems from a Friday Question that's worth an entire post. 

Dana Gabbard asks:

Recently you noted that while in the past show staffs were small and freelance writers were a source of most scripts (at least first drafts) now most shows are room written. Can you describe why? What are the pluses

If I wrote for GIRLS

Allow me to channel my inner 25-year-old girl with tattoos and try my hand at GIRLS.

INT. APARTMENT BATHROOM – NIGHT

Hannah (Lena Dunham) is completely naked, brushing her teeth. Marnie (Allison Williams) is taking a shower, fully dressed. Jessa (Jermina Kirke) is shaving her armpits. And Shoshanna (Zosia Mamet) is on the toilet. This is where the four friends seem to have all of their

Some random thoughts, rants, and suggestions

Haven’t done this in awhile so what the heck?  

True story: Was in a restaurant Friday night. By mistake we made reservations for four instead of two. The cute Millennium hostess showed us to our table and asked if two others were joining. Wiseass that I am, I said, “No. They died.” And she said, “Please don’t make this awkward for me.” Lena, I want a dollar if you use that.

Happy

A former U.S. President is today's guest blogger

Hello. In honor of President’s Weekend, one of Ken’s favorite holidays, he
asked me to be a guest blogger. Of course I said yes. Not like I was
busy. I haven’t done anything for 125 years.

For those who don’t know me, I’m Chester A. Arthur. I was the 21st
President of the United States. No, seriously. I was. Go to
Wikipedia, look it up yourself.

Don’t feel bad if you don’t

Guys are not going to want to f**k her

 Of all the things I've posted over the last eight years, this has been my most requested.  And since we're right in the middle of pilot casting season, I thought I'd re-post it with sincere admiration to those gallant actors and actresses trying to beat the incredible odds. 
 
My
heart always goes out to actors during pilot season (which this is).
Here’s how hard it is to become a cast

How we determined credit

Got some Friday Questions & Answers for ya.

Chris starts us off:

Does WGA have any rules about who goes first on a writing team credit? Peter Tolan and Denis Leary kept switching theirs on the "created by" credit on Rescue Me. Seemed it was a fair way to handle the issue.

How did you guys decide?

There are no guild rules as to who in a writing team gets top billing. The team has to fight

Happy Valentine's Day

Not my favorite holiday.  My big problem with Valentine’s Day is that it’s also my birthday. Try going out to a nice celebration dinner when every restaurant is packed, all the prices are jacked way up, and everyone is trying so hard to create a “romantic atmosphere” that when their date isn’t looking they’re popping Lexapros like Tic Tacs.

Still, not to be a cynic I would like to offer

Fox announces "ShortComs"

Fox has announced an experimental series for the summer called “Shortcoms.” These will be hour shows split into four segments. Each segment will be a multi-camera sitcom starring and written by a stand-up comic. Fox claims they will give the comics great freedom.

First off, I applaud any attempt to do comedy, especially an innovative one.

But I have some concerns:

Last year Fox

Terrestrial Radio sucks

WARNING: ONE OF MY RANTS



Terrestrial Radio is the guy in an iron lung who’s smoking. Except the guy is smart enough to know he’s dying.

For almost a hundred years Terrestrial Radio has ruled the airwaves. And as readers of this blog know, my first love (besides Natalie Wood) is radio. That’s why it really pains me to not only see it heading towards its own demise but sprinting.



Now we

Let's play Over-Under!

It’s always fun to involve you readers in a blog post. Today let’s play Over-Under! Over-under is a betting term. A certain number is assigned (like the total points for a particular football game) and people bet whether the final score will be either over or under that number.

But the category doesn’t have to be sports. Here are a few over-unders. I’m the self-appointed odds maker.

M*I*S*H M*A*S*H

By
popular demand, more MASH stuff. (I never get this kind of reaction to
my pitches for my book) Here are some random questions and
thoughts:

How did we get the medical jargon? We had a consultant
on staff, Dr. Walter Dishell. When writing the script, David and I would
just slug in medical nonsense.

HAWKEYE: I think his freebazzber is ruptured. BJ: You might have to gumenford him and

Rock stars given dress restrictions for the Grammys

Publicists, managers, record company executives (i.e. rock star wranglers) received an email this week from CBS essentially laying down a dress code.

It states:  "Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack.  Bare sides or under curvature of the

Christina Applegate leaves UP ALL NIGHT

Last Friday it was announced that Christina Applegate has decided to exit UP ALL NIGHT in light of the format change from single camera to multiple camera (shot live before a studio audience). Since she was the star and best thing in that show I would say that’s a blow. But it’s just the latest in a series of tweaks, retooling, and rebooting that troubled series has undergone since even

Friday Questions

Warming you up with Friday Questions….

Michael Stoffel asks:

Would you prefer to completely wrap a season before it even starts airing ala the upcoming season of COMMUNITY.  Or have the flexibility to change course after public input, like THE GOOD WIFE did this season when they had to dump Kalinda's husband because the storyline was so detested.

I would prefer the flexibility of receiving

This is 40 -- this is my review

Maybe if everybody stops calling Judd Apatow a comic genius he can make some good movies again. I laughed a lot at THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN. I liked KNOCKED UP (despite its length and Katherine Heigl). And SUPER BAD (which he only produced) was a riot. Then Hollywood anointed Apatow as a master comedy filmmaker. Uh oh. Now he’s editing Vanity Fair comedy issues, moderating panels, the

Punching the puppet

One of the dangers of writing a spec for an existing show is that you land on a story that they are already in the process of doing. You finish your script and see the same story next week on the show. You want to throw yourself in front of a bus.

A few thoughts before you lay down in the street:

The fact that you came up with a story similar to theirs says that you’re on the right track

I want to be a panelist

I want to be a panelist on a TV show.

This has always seemed like the greatest job ever.

And by “always” I mean, since I was a kid.

Back in the Stone Age there were live game shows in prime time. Relics like WHAT’S MY LINE?, I’VE GOT A SECRET, and TO TELL THE TRUTH. Take any one of them – let’s say I’VE GOT A SECRET...

For years this show ran on Monday nights at 8:00 from New York

My comments on your comments

My Super Bowl Commercials post has generated a lot of comments. Worth checking them out. Mind if the ol’ blogmeister responds?

Reader Carol thought the kid kissing the girl at the prom was inappropriate and disturbing. When I was ten there was a girl in my class I had a huge crush on. One day, for unfathomable reasons, I decided to approach her during lunch and give her a big kiss. She

Super Bowl commercials were not funny

How many times did you laugh at a Super Bowl commercial yesterday? Three times? Five maybe?

Now let’s do the math: Each 30 second spot cost $4,000,000. The production value on all of these commercials was lavish. Safe to say at least $1,000,000? Probably closer to $2,000,000. So think of all the commercials over a four-hour period and hundreds of millions had to be spent on them.

For those who don't know who Paul Harvey is

Here's a repost from 2009 when Harvey passed away.  His Super Bowl commercial was so good that I'm becoming a farmer.

On Friday night I signed off my radio show on KABC at 7:00 and was followed by Paul Harvey News and Comment. It wasn’t actually Paul Harvey, it was someone filling in for him doing a woeful impression. But I drove away feeling very proud that I was on the same radio

The "Lost" CHEERS Super Bowl scene

For several years I've been talking about the "Lost" CHEERS scene. David and I wrote it for the 1983 Super Bowl Pre-game show to promote our fledgling series. They ran it just before game time and it was seen by 80,000,000 people. Nothing we've ever written before or since has been seen by that many eyeballs at one time. But the scene was never repeated. It never appeared on any DVD's. It

The best way to watch MASH

When we did MASH back in the Dark Ages (the 1970’s), it was a pre-digital world. The show was shot in 35 mm film. All of the editing was done by physically splicing film. Today everything is edited on computers. Point and click.  You watch the process on monitors. But back in the ‘70s (when dinosaurs still roamed the earth) the only way we could see a rough cut of an episode was to go a

Friday Questions

My posts on writing this week elicited quite a few Friday Questions. Thought I’d answer them while the subject matter is still fairly fresh.

Ron asks:

If you're writing a spec script should you target network or cable and also a specific network, i.e., TBS or FX, etc

Write the best pilot you can and then decide whom it’s best for, not the other way around. Don’t try to outguess the

Not everyone cares about the Super Bowl

It’s Super Bowl week, all everyone is talking about… here in the United States. We Americans seem to forget that there’s the rest of the world out there and not everyone on the planet shares our zest and passion for a football game or Honey Boo Boo.

Last year I watched the Super Bowl in Tauranga. That’s a cute little beach town in New Zealand. I was hoping somebody closer to Los Angeles

Is there laughter in the writers room?

Yes.

A lot of it.

There is a misconception that comedy writers never laugh.  Although we frequently do just nod and say, “That’s funny, put it in” there is also a ton of laughter.

Being able to laugh all day is the one saving grace of sitting in a pressure-filled room night after night after night. Well, that and junk food.

True that most of the laughs stem from jokes that don’t get

The laugh that almost cost me my career

It was our first staff job. My partner, David Isaacs and I had been hired on THE TONY RANDALL SHOW as “term writers.” That’s the lowest rung on the ladder. Term writers didn’t even get a credit. I don’t think there are term writers today. Anyway, we didn’t care. We were thrilled. Not only were we on an actual show but it was an MTM show. This was the mid ‘70’s and MTM back then was

I still can't get over what happened last night

SPOILER ALERT: Contains plot details from last night’s DOWNTON ABBEY

This isn’t so much a post about DOWNTON ABBEY as it is about our attachment to fictional characters. And why drama and storytelling is so powerful.

I’m a fan of DOWNTON ABBEY. It’s rollicking good soap opera fun. Everyone is so mannered and foppish, and Maggie Smith is so droll and amusing. I never felt a strong

How to memorize scripts -- Part 2

Here’ the final  installment in how actors memorize scripts.  Part 1 was yesterday.  These come from
actors you know. As you’ll see, no two methods are even remotely
similar.

Actor 1:

The
repetition from rehearsals is very helpful. But, of course, on
"Cheers" we had lots of changes. That's why starting in the middle of
the week was so constructive.

I could study during the weekend.

How to memorize scripts

Based on a reader’s question I surveyed a number of
very successful actors and actresses to learn how they memorize scripts.
Their answers were all fascinating and wildly different. There were
too many to squeeze into one post so tomorrow I’ll share the rest. I’m sure a few of you have methods of your own. My
thanks to these actors for their generous participation. Memorization
is

What does Sarah Palin have in common with Ben & Kate?

They were all cancelled.  But that leaves Sarah open for pilot season. 

Will somebody wake up Jane Fonda?

Here are some Friday Questions for your weekend pleasure:

Chris leads off:

Do you get more royalties if you used to be the showrunner of a series or do you get them just for episodes you've written and characters you've created?

You just get them for episodes you’ve written. Showrunners frequently rewrite every draft and most don’t take the script to arbitration to try to get their name

Wanted: Comedy writers for Siri

Apparently this is real. According to an article in MacRumors, Apple is looking for people to write comedic answers for Siri. Siri is the personal assistant feature that talks back to you in newer iPhones. At first she was friendly and humble, but Apple is now looking to give her a little edge.

You know what this means, don’t you? It means that now even Dane Cook’s phone will be funnier

The dumbest article I've read in awhile

It appeared in the Huffington Post. The title was

Women's Names Ruined By Songs: 23 Names Changed By Music

The thrust of the piece was that due to songs that mentioned girls with these names, any girl with one of these names will be scorned and ridiculed. And furthermore, the article suggests that having the wrong name will scar you for life and make it much harder to achieve success and

Phantom of the Oprah

A recent Friday Question reminded me of one of the craziest rewrite nights I ever experienced. It was on WINGS. I was the Thursday night punch up guy. They had a two-parter called “The Gift.” Both episodes were written by the great David Angell. He was back east in New England writing the scripts. He sent us part one and continued to work on part two while part one was in production.

My daughter the pole dancer

My daughter, Annie recently took a pole dancing class. Here's her account of it (with help from her writing partner, Jon). As a father I couldn't be more proud.

Everyone likes to think their coworkers respect them…

Mine bought me a Groupon to a pole dancing class for my birthday. (Based on the average age of my coworkers, I chose to take this as a sign of admiration for my functional

Meanwhile, at Sundance...

With the Sundance Film Festival going on in Park City, Utah, I thought you'd like a glimpse of what Park City is like. I never attended the festival. I'm not important or independent enough. This was from October, 2005 but the mountains and Jeff Katzenberg are still there.

Here’s a travelogue you thought you’d never see – me in Utah. Along with my partner David, and Peter Casey (one of

Speed Dating for Writers

A question I’m always asked is “how do you find a writing partner?”. I met mine in the army but I sure don’t recommend that method. The WGA has come up with a nifty idea. Speed Dating. Just like the social version with the same success rate of getting laid. Every so often the Guild sponsors evenings for writers looking for that perfect scribe mate. I’ve never been to one of course, but I

Me & the Mariners

For all who have been asking -- I will not be going back to the Seattle Mariners this season.  I will miss my time up there but have a lot of other things on my plate.  Meanwhile, they've hired a terrific young announcer, Aaron Goldsmith.   M's fans will like him.  Thanks to the organization for letting me "call 'em as I think I saw 'em" the last two years, and a huge shout out to all the fans

The Friday Questions Where Lilith Comes Back

Warming you up with some Friday Questions:

Phil Nichols from the UK begins with a FRASIER query:

Today they showed your first season episode with Lilith ("The Show Where Lilith Comes Back"). I gather this was from mid-season - and yet the episode established all of the regular characters so well that it could almost be mistaken for a pilot. My question: was that episode was intended as some

My short-lived career as a newsman

Here’s another chapter from my misguided radio career:

As a Top 40 disc jockey in the early ‘70s, I often had to fill multiple roles. In addition to humming the hits,  I was also the engineer on duty. I would have to take the transmitter readings every few hours. To qualify for that job I needed an FCC First Class Radio License. This required five weeks in a school in Glendale cramming

ZERO DARK THIRTY: my review

How do you make a gripping thriller when everyone in the world knows the outcome? Since they didn’t flash SPOILER ALERT on your TV just before President Obama announced that Osama bin Laden had been killed, there’s zero (dark thirty) chance anyone will stunned by the “surprise” ending.

And yet, director Kathryn Bigelow – working from a taut screenplay by Mark Boal – pulls it off

The most humble man in Hollywood: Steven Spielberg

In Daniel Day-Lewis’ acceptance speech at the Golden Globes he fawned all over Steven Spielberg and praised him for his “humility.” Steven nodded graciously as if to say, “Yes, that’s me alright.” And I thought – humility? On what planet are we on here? This man has one of the largest egos in the ego capital of the world. He is enormously talented. There’s no denying that. And he

My review of the Golden Globes

Wow. Did Steven Spielberg not tip well? Why else would the Hollywood Foreign Press (i.e. waiters at the Palm) deny him useless trophies for a movie that’s not just important, it has the Amblin logo. Imagine a contest where God Almighty loses to Ben Affleck. Blasphemy!

But that’s the Golden Globes, where anything can happen and usually does because there are only like sixteen people

Getting ready for the Golden Globes

Tonight is the whatever-annual Golden Globe Awards on NBC. I will be reviewing them along with my daughter, Annie and her writing partner, Jon.  The review will appear tomorrow morning.  To get you in the mood, here are a few highlights from past Golden Globe reviews. In compiling these I realized there were a lot of years I didn’t bother. The reasons being: I don’t give a shit, they were

My PLAYBILL -- aren't you impressed?

When the musical I co-wrote was produced I was asked to submit my bio for the program. The trouble is, if I list that I am primarily a TV writer it’s like putting a big target on my chest for New York theatre critics. So I thought I’d fudge, tailor it a tad for the Broadway theatre crowd. What do you think of this?

Ken is the adopted son of Stephen Sondheim. His godfather was Bob Fosse

Voting on jokes

Some Friday Questions to send you into another weekend of football:

XJill leads off:

What do you think of this "the viewers pick the ending" gimmick Hawaii Five-0 has come up with? Isn't this super insulting to the creators and writers or since it's a CBS procedural and paint-by-numbers to some extent they don't mind as much??

It is just a silly gimmick and signals that the network is

Hollywood is in turmoil!

Show business has faced crises before. Work stoppages due to labor strikes that halted production and crippled the TV and movie industries. Film piracy, the collapse of DVD’s, runaway costs, plunging ratings – and yet somehow Tinsel Town has risen above. But now comes their toughest challenge ever, the ultimate test.

The Lakers suck.

In a town of frontrunners, this unimagined turn of

R.I.P. Bill Mouzis

Among the people I wanted to be when I grew up was Bill Mouzis. You’ve probably never heard of him, but he was a hero of mine. He sat in a tiny windowless closet surrounded by archaic equipment and made magic. If ever there was an artist and alchemist in radio it was Bill Mouzis.

He was the production director for 93/KHJ Boss Radio back in the ‘60s. Today we have audio editing programs on

DJANGO UNCHAINED: My review

There’s a famous story in Hollywood about a network executive telling a writer what they were looking for that season. He said, “We want to do HOGANS HEROES but with slaves.” As absurd as that is, Quentin Tarantino sort of did it. DJANGO UNCHAINED is really INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS with slaves.

It’s not as good as INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (hard to construct a more pleasing ending than shooting

Jimmy Kimmel takes on Jay & Dave

Best of luck to Jimmy Kimmel who tonight begins his show at 11:35 on ABC. Personally, I’ve always liked Kimmel’s show and found his relaxed style refreshing. To be honest, in the late night wars, the best hosts were on at 12:30. Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon (whose show has more actual entertainment value than any talk show on television), and Craig Ferguson (who’s extremely talented but a little

If I wrote DOWNTON ABBEY

DOWNTON ABBEY had become a sleeper hit. Who knew this Edwardian ITV costume drama would attract such a following across the pond? Season 3 began here in the states last night. From what I understand the UK has already seen it. So that no spoilers alerts are necessary, and for those who have never seen the show, I’d like to do a scene that I would have liked to have seen in season one.

If

Tips for winter travelers

Traveling
is a nightmare anyway, but during the winter it gets even worse. But
fear not, blog faithful. Here are some suggestions for winter air
travel:

Check the weather forecast. If it’s not 72 degrees and clear EVERYWHERE in the United States, reschedule.

Do not call the airline for a weather update. You’ll learn it’s cool and overcast in New Delhi.

Allow
two hours before the flight

Cliff Clavin explains Yorkshire Pudding

Bonus Friday question: Dana Gabbard asks:Maybe
you could give us a peek at the legal process a script goes through. I
know from reading the Making of Star Trek that someone researches
whether a character's name is too similiar to an actual person who has
the same profession as the character, etc.There are a
couple of research firm that comb through scripts to identify possible
legal

Follow up questions from yesterday's post

Yesterday’s post on what spec to write has generated a lot of Friday Questions. So let me address them today. 

First off, several people asked why I omitted NEW GIRL? Just an oversight. If you want to write one of those Fox-style shows I’d say it’s your best bet. Someone asked about writing a LOUIE. I wouldn’t. It’s soooo specific to Louis C.K.’s voice. I don’t believe anyone other

What comedy spec to write in 2013?

Here’s a question I get (and am happy to answer) every year.

Beardly Mustachington asks:

Will you again grace us with your comedy spec recommendations for 2013? Program deadlines are fast approaching and I'm struggling between a few choice shows. I value your insight, as I suspect many readers do. Thanks!

I always preface this by saying (a) this is just one person’s opinion, and (b) the

My review of LES MISERABLES

If you loved the stage musical, if you’re a devoted fan, if you can tell the difference between all the songs then you will probably love the movie version of LES MISERABLES. If you’re not a fan – like me – you may find the film an ordeal. It’s 2 1/2 hours but to me it felt like 5. And some songs from the musical were cut!! Holy shit! I could still be sitting in that theater.

In

My New Year's Resolutions

                 Happy New Year!

Here are my New Year’s resolutions:

Finally watch THE WIRE.

Get ALMOST PERFECT on Netflix or Hulu.

Go to the gym at least twice a week. (My gym is usually packed in January and by March it’s me and two other guys.)

Stay off the 405 freeway when it’s crowded (so only take it between 2-4 AM).

Visit my friend in Walla Walla.

Finish my novel.



Meet